Wow, I cannot believe it’s July already! I finished my first summer session with a B – in math and It feels amazing! I know the only thing that pulled my grade up was my attendance, but so be it. I’m glad the worse is half way over. My second summer session started the following monday with statistics. And just today I took my GRE exam. It’s definitely a challenging summer both academically and personally. Personally, I’ve never faced so much change before in my life you guys, and this summer things in my life rapidly changed, exactly like how the days and weeks seem to skid by without anyone truly noticing until we land on a date we can’t believe is already here.

When change occurs in your life, you discover things about you that you will hate… Or maybe that was just me. I discovered that I couldn’t take change very lightly. At times it overwhelms and at other times it feels … unreal. It felt unreal because the change was uncontrollable and my feelings towards this change were new to me. It masked me and I had to, at all times, control my un-welcomed emotions. And that is mentally exhausting!

These emotions are like uncontrollable saliva. We all generate saliva, but we don’t think about how to control it, we subconsciously know how to do that already. My new un-welcomed emotions had to be controlled at all times as if I had to consciously control saliva every time I generated it. The only thing I can’t control are the thoughts these emotions evoke in my mind. Which is the root of all the chaos this change is provoking. It feels like I moved in to someone else’s soul and mind… I just hope I can check out soon. I hate feeling like a stranger in my own body.

Sorry for the vagueness in this post, you guys, I just can’t write down the truth yet.